Pink Answers the Question: "If you had a clone, would you do yourself?"

Bye Bye!

Swim

This morning while swimming, there was an older gentlemen swimming in the other lane in my direction and both of us were doing breast stroke and wearing goggles. I so wish that we had high-fived.

Racism

While it is true and important that we have made the historic decision as a nation to elect a minority of our country for President, there has been a backlash of racist activity directed at our President-elect. To some people, this is shocking, to others, it's normal, and other people don't care. The fact is, if someone believes that racism is dead in our country they really haven't been paying attention.

Reading the comments section of the article posted above (which was actually pretty intelligent for internet commentary), I found several mentions to the completely erroneous "reverse racism" targeted at white people who criticize Obama or would vote for McCain. I'm getting into controversial territory here, but I would say that there is racism against many different groups of people from other groups of people, but that what is most detrimental is racism with power behind it. An individual that hurts another individual based on their race is wrong, but an entire group of people being classified as less human and denied equal opportunities and rights for centuries is an atrocity. These things are not able to occur unless there is massive power behind the racist ideals and the effects of this oppression are long-lasting. White men control most of our nation's wealth and are a majority of the representation in our government and while it is much more likely for a black man to go to prison than college and affirmative action is unacceptable "reverse racism", ivy league institutions use legacy admissions to continue their tradition of upper class white students.

The point is that there cannot be "reverse racism" if there is no power coming in the reverse direction. Everyone holds some sort of power over others, but the massive weight of white privilege in our country changes the dynamic. The other interesting relationship between the comments about "reverse racism" and the list of racist incidents relating to the election is that they are all absent of concrete consequences. I know that the emotional distress of seeing a burning cross on your lawn and the history that evokes can be incredibly powerful and overwhelming, but it is very different than the systemic racism that exists and persists in our country. In my view, these are the things that should be viewed as atrocious and vile, that we do not give a portion of our population the same opportunities due to where they live, how impoverished they already are, and the color of their skin and what it means to our country historically.

There has been a new attitude of "Now there is no excuse for young black men; it has become apparent that they can now become president." There are plenty of reasons that young black men and women still do not have the opportunity or belief that they could one day become president. When you spend every day living in the midst of extreme poverty and violence, it appears that there is no way out, and in many ways this is true. The more symbolic, threatening, and personal incidents from this article are more representational of a mood that still exists, a personal belief that one person is inherently better than another, a persistent hatred. But the systemic problems are the ones that make my skin crawl, because we are legally allowing oppression and not viewing it as so. We go on ignoring the real problems facing our nation and black communities and we will forget that we are trying to reach true equality.

Age

jasonbenedict.com

I do not visit my grandmother often, so when I do visit her, it is an Experience.

My grandmother, Grandma Hunin, lives in a retirement home called Cathedral Village. She suffers from Alzheimer's and the last time I visited her she would begin crying at seemingly random times. I remember being incredibly impressed with how well my mother coped with seeing her own mother so unable to communicate, so frustrated with her own memory loss, so emotional and helpless. I cried during that visit, remembering the strong woman that my grandmother is but not seeing that strength when I looked at her. She was only using one word responses at that time, a lot of "Yeah".

I was nervous about this trip, two years after I had last seen Hunin. She has progressed to the point that she does not speak really, and her communication is limited. But through my experience during this visit, I would say that there is a strange arch of development in this disease. The last time I was here, I was never really sure whether or not Hunin recognized me. This time, even though she is more progressed in her disease, I felt that maybe she did recognize me. Maybe her recognition is now on a different level; maybe after not remembering for so long she has come to a point where any glimmer of recognition or sense of memory has become strong enough to trust. If I could see the way she works through it, maybe it would be something like: "I recognize that there is a blonde woman smiling at me. I remember that smiling like that means that we are close. I will smile back." And she shows me as well in the way that she grips and squeezes my hand as I sit near her on the bed, as she kisses my cheek while I kiss hers, that there is some connection there. Maybe there is memory in the blood, and on the path to mental oblivion there is a point in our threshold where we let go of our mental ability to know and rely on our physical sense of recognition.

Either way, I felt the strength of my grandmother again as she met her great-grandson Mason for the first time, as she stared at me for a length that proved lack of self-consciousness. As my family processed the visit together, we mentioned the similarities between infants and Alzheimer's patients. Both in new territory, unable to fully competently communicate, and distressed at these facts. The end seems like it's a little like the beginning.

Victory AND Defeat

Today has been a roller coaster of emotions so far. I was absolutely joyous with the news that Barack Obama will be our 44th President, I even cried I was so happy. I ended the night with uncertainty about the results for Propositions 8 and 4, and found out this morning that Prop 4 thankfully did not pass and Prop 8 unfortunately did. I've been bouncing back and forth all morning between elation about our new, hopeful, competent, and impressive President-Elect and depression over the success of denying rights to a portion of our population through the passing of Prop 8.

How utterly disgusting that we would even be willing to allow a popular vote to choose what rights people are allowed to have. Why haven't we learned yet that just because someone is different, in a minority group, or against the "norm" does not mean that they deserve less than everyone else? How do we not connect the civil rights movement of the black community with the current struggles the LGBTI community faces?

I'm having a difficult time articulating what I think should be said about this issue...I'm realizing as the day goes on how much this means to me and how passionately I feel that everyone should have equal access to name their love, so passionately that I have snapped at people I care about and teared up thinking about what this means. This is painful, it hurts and I don't know how to say what it means as well as this article from the Good Times of Santa Cruz:

"Yes, there is tremendous power in the word “marriage,” and that’s why it should be made available to every person who’s capable of such love that they choose to use it. We have imbued the word with the ultimate and complete amounts of commitment, faithfulness, and sanctity. Sadly, it is a word with such power that many people—of all persuasions and sexualities—sometimes find they are incapable of living up to it. It is a word with such nobility that it perhaps asks more of people than they are truly capable. But that is why we choose to use it. The word ‘marriage’ represents a goal to be the best, most caring, most loving, most amazing person one can be for the sake of another person. There is no other word for that hope. The word must be available to all people."

They have said it better than I could and have perfectly articulated why marriage should be available to all who love, no matter how separate church and state must be. We should all have the right to language and its meaning for us.

With both of these results, we have a lot of work moving forward, but this country is worth it to me.

What it means to love

I know that Death Cab for Cutie is a very popular band and that it is rather cliche to say that I Will Follow You Into the Dark is one of my favorite songs, but whether or not it's cliche, it's true. To me, it is one of the best songs there is, and I don't ever tire of listening to it.

When trying to figure out why that is, I realized that this song embodies a basic human desire: to be loved so much that someone would be willing to die with us, believing that nothing was awaiting them. "If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, I'll follow you into the dark," he sings over and over again, saying that if we have to go into oblivion, why not go together?

We all want to be loved, and we do not want to feel alone. I think what we are all searching for in our daily lives is some connection to something meaningful and permanent. There is a lack of permanence in our existence, people are always leaving or dying, but if we could find that one person who would connect so fully with us that we could go together into the next unknown, I think we could be complete.

It is also the commitment to the unknown that I appreciate about this song. "No blinding light, or tunnel to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark." We're not necessarily looking for someone willing to die with us, but just someone who is not so frightened of the unknown that they will stay and go through it. We do not know where our relationships will lead, whether they will be 'successful' or not, but to be willing to try together is an invaluable experience.

This isn't a version of the song from the actual band, but a very nice cover from three women. I chose this version because it spoke to what I feel when I sing this song to myself in the car, or rather speaks to what a want to be a part of as I harmonize with the song by myself, wanting to be a part of something complete and full and real.



This song is a representation of that glimpse we sometimes get of what it means to love.

Endorsement

Apparently, Boy George is endorsing Barack Obama. This and Colin Powell's endorsements are gonna take us to the top! I'm not sure why Amy Winehouse is in this at all...

Hope

Small Victories

I've started alternating between swimming and running in the mornings. I'm doing this for a few reasons: I'm going to soon join a soccer team and would really like not to vomit during my first game with my new team, I've wanted to start regular exercise for a while, it's cheaper than the gym, and I'd like to feel healthy. I'm not a runner. In fact, I hate running. I loathe it. But I've managed to go two mornings for the past two weeks, even when I REEEAAALLLY didn't want to. I've figured out ways to keep myself running. I talk to myself in my head, encouraging myself, frightening myself with warnings of embarrassment when I get back on the soccer field, and telling myself this is good, this feels good, you're almost done.

I got a pedometer over the weekend to keep track of my progress and when I looked at it this morning, I realized, to my surprise, that I had run for over a mile. One small victory today, a great way to start the day even before the sun came up.

My Feelings Exactly, John

I'm sure all over the internet people are swooping in to comment on the inaccurate, judgmental, shitty comments made by Governor Sarah Palin about what parts of our country are actual parts of our country:

"We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. We believe" -- here the audience interrupted Palin with applause and cheers -- "We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation."

She can call wherever she wants the "real America", but the reality is that we have had an incredibly brutal, bloody war to determine that no matter how drastically different separate parts of the country may be in their ideals and values, it is vitally important that we remain a united nation. This fight was about recognizing all of America and all Americans as "real" and the real power of our nation comes from our incredible diversity and plurality. Some of the most fervent patriots live in D.C. and these people are pro-American for a living, working to better our country, whether they are Senators or janitors. By discluding them and everyone else in a large city, Palin insults Americans in this sweeping generalization.

She went on to say:

"This is where we find the kindness and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans. Those who are running our factories and teaching our kids and growing our food and are fighting our wars for us. Those who are protecting us in uniform. Those who are protecting the virtues of freedom."

As if the people not in the small, rural areas are unkind and bad and none of our soldiers come from large, urban centers of our country. There are teachers, soldiers, farmers, and factory workers everywhere and each and every one of the people she describes above is a "real" American, an important American, no matter where they happen to live.

Here's a video from an article describing Jon Stewart's response to Sarah Palin's statements and he perfectly sums up how I'm feeling about it as well. What he says is funny and not funny in that he's right, what Palin said is profane:



So eff you, divisive assholes.

Something Light

The lighter side of batman (he's not all justice and darkness):



and there's this:

Change

The thing that the United States must realize before it is able to change as a country is that we were built upon the pillars of patriarchy and racism. Thus, as members of our society, members of our country, we are a product of the many factors and values and ideals and practices that formed the country itself, meaning that we are intrinsically racist and sexist. It is a fact and though we may push it down inside of ourselves or ignore it or deny it, this will not help it go away. Our own racism must be confronted and evaluated and understood. We must realize and examine the thoughts and actions we produce that are sexist.
Just as we are products of our country’s history and values, our popular culture can be used as a barometer for the values of our country. Especially as a nation functioning through capitalism, our individual monetary power is our cultural power in many ways. We express our interest in something by purchasing it and our values are reflected in what is a lasting staple in pop culture.
Two important factors of a culture that measure its values are popular culture and religion. In some cases, the two are one and the same. Such as ancient greece, in which the epics were both the popular culture of the time and the religious communication of morality. Epic poems were entertainment and doctrine, and as the travelling rockstar bards would recite “history”, they would give shout-outs to whatever locale they were visiting, as if saying “Hello, Cleveland!”, except in a much more drawn out, lengthy way.
The epics of our day take many different forms. Heroic tales which the populus can relate to while revering the actors, characters, and personas are present in television, movies, music, and the incredibly rich. What do these figures and their epic tales tell us about ourselves? That’s what I hope to find out.