Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Anxious Wedding Dreams

Man, I just seem to LOVE glomming onto someone else's stress and eating it up so that I can have effed-up dreams. During the planning phase for my brother's wedding, I had a few anxious dreams, the ones where you can't fully fall asleep because you know more has to get done. I would keep dreaming the same thing over and over and in my dream, not all of the bridesmaids had their dress altered by the day before the ceremony and I had to make sure to do that and get it done.

Maybe that's normal for an involved bridesmaid. I was pretty stressed about the wedding leading up to it because I was helping a lot and responsible for getting important things done so that it could be the wedding they wanted (and deserved). But is it at all normal to have wedding anxiety dreams about a wedding that isn't yours and that's already happened???? I had another anxious wedding dream the other night, and this one was more strange and stressful than any I had before the wedding. I swear, I was just overwhelmed by all of the family and the big to-do and the stress of being asked about MY OWN WEDDING (gag) and my brain exploded as I slept, bringing up odd concerns such as: What if my dad decides to wear purple lipstick???

Yes, my father, in preparation for the wedding, donned purple lipstick and a cowboy hat. He apparently also got cowboy hats for the rest of our family and I was so worried because WHERE WAS MINE?? Their wedding had already happened, but this was their second wedding, not unheard of in my family. Not my brother's second wedding to another person, but the second wedding of the same two people shortly after their first wedding to one another (my mom did it, long story). The bridesmaid dresses had changed into a draping, Roman-looking pretty dress, but my mother embarrassed me by making everyone look at me while describing how sexy and wonderful the dress was.

I couldn't seem to get anywhere I was supposed to be in this dream. But the most disturbing part of that was that no one else seemed to care. I remember at the end, I was helping to clean up with my mom and stepdad and explained to them that I seemed to just miss everything. I started to unroll toilet paper onto a table while speaking and then thought, what am I doing? this is ridiculous! I threw the paper down and began to cry.

Blerg. Man, I know exactly what my sister would say to me. RELAX. Breathe deeply and remember that I don't have to plan/help plan/be at all in charge of a wedding for a long time now. My siblings are married, my mom has had her two perfect weddings, and I will not be ready for marriage-or my own wedding-for a long time. (Ellen, please wait at least two years for my sanity's sake.)

1 comment:

Jess Speer said...

Dood,

I've had crazy family-stress dreams for the last two weeks too. I think it's just crazy family-stress (I mean crazy stress, not crazy family, tho the latter is also relatively accurate), but you have the bonus addition of not already being married and therefore having to think about your own potential wedding/marriage.

In one of my stress dreams, you & I were at the airport checking in for a flight, and the lady at the ticket counter said that while you had a ticket, the flight was overbooked and you weren't guaranteed a spot, even tho we bought our tickets together. Then she got a phone call, turned her back to us and ignored us, and I had to jump up and lean way over the ticket counter to try to get her to help us. Then we, and our ENTIRE FAMILY tried to get to our gate through a small jungle village (which was the airport terminal, obviously) and you & I ended up accidentally down in some kind of trench next to a hut, thinking it was our gate, and Dad had to pull us out, which made me really sad and I was on the verge of tears when I woke up. That was probably TMI for psychotherapists in the house, but there you go. We were in deep, yo.

Have a great trip! I'll be checking your blog and will try to skype you.

I love you!!!!